so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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