Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
