hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Say something about gay babies.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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