Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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