I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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