I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
