so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
