There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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