yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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