There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
