what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
