Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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