scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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