you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
