Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize