he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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