We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
