She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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