I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
