she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
