apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize