I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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