brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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