This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
