You really coming over, don't trick.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
