I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
