i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
3pm strippers are depressing
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
