Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
