You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
