They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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