my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
