I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
