PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
