P.S. I can't hear my feet
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
