absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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