We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
