I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
