i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
