I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
