Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
