wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
