ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize