I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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