if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
