I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
