I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
