His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
