A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Couch. On fire.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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