Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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