I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
