So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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