I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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