Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We have so much sex to catch up on
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
