I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
