Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize