Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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