I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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