no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
