I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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