So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
