hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
