So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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