I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
