he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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