and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
