Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
