it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
