I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Someone shit on the floor
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
