we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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