Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
