Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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