Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize