hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
