I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
