Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
