I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
