there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
