Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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